User Submission Contest #2

Great job this week, you sick fucks. We received some particularly disturbing submissions this week...most involving incest. I highly suggest therapy to all you degenerates, but can't deny a job well done.

Here's the cream of the crop:

Would You Rather...

1) Curb-stomp a newborn baby or have a threesome with your sister and mom?
-Marc, Carlisle PA

2) Have a dude piss in your mouth in a public place or get caught taking a big dump in front of a group of hot chicks?
-Payam, Northvale NJ

3) Be forced to kill your brother or fuck him?
-Murph, Holtzville NY

4) Fuck your mom in the ass and shit on her face or get fucked in the ass and shit on your face by your dog?
-Dan, Farmingville NY

5) Get covered in shit and piss everyday for the rest of your life but fuck Meghan Fox once or never fuck anybody again?
-Kevin, Lake Ronkonkoma NY

Remember every Wednesday is user-submission day, so keep them coming!

Daily Fucked Up Question #10

So how many people liked Transformers 2? All the action any Michael Bay fan could wish for, a hot piece of booty to gander at while running in slow motion and all the nostalgia of seeing your favorite childhood toys blow each other to shit, right?

Well, that movie sucked at least ten dicks.

Anyway, in honor of those ten dicks and Michael Bay's cash cow, Megan Fox, we're gonna have a "Would You Rather..." partially inspired by this heap of cinema dribble.

Would You Rather...

1) Suck ten dicks to be able to fuck Megan Fox or amputate all of your limbs for one billion dollars? (You can't buy prosthetic limbs though)

Daily Fucked Up Question #9

Mazel Tov heebs!

Hope you're having a wonderful Yom Kippur to all you Jews out there. And to the rest of us, enjoy the day off.

Would You Rather...

1) Eat a regurgitated gefilte fish and matza cocktail, spewn from Larry David or have a yarmulke made of Seth Rogen's pubes stapled to your head?

Daily Fucked Up Question #8

Sorry for missing a post yesterday dudes. Due to a meteor impact, giant robots, and a lot of internet problems, we were not able to get online. But to make it up to you, we'll give ya two questions today instead of one...please don't hate us =(

Would You Rather...

1) After taking excessive amounts of mushrooms go to a haunted house or ride Kingda Kaa?
2) Be tied up, covered in sugar, and have fireants poured on you or have a spider lay eggs in your nose, ears, asshole, pee-hole and behind your eyes?

Daily Fucked Up Question #7

So, thanks again to all the TFU! Blog readers for their submissions. You've all proven yourselves a sick, depraved, emotionally disturbed bunch. Like us. So get out more, see the world or something. But we have to admit, we slipped up a bit and missed some submissions. And since we're men and we own up to our own faults, we're gonna post them up right here.

Would You Rather...

1) Have your fingers smashed individually with a round side of a ball peen hammer or have ur dick hole paper cut?
- L1FTHVY-MISCER

2) Drink a bucket of jizz expelled from a gang of filthy HIV positive hobos or eat rancid tuna out of Patrick Swayze's freshly decaying asshole?
-Anonymous


Pretty nice... So keep sending these baby's in, TFU! Droogs. And to take us out, we'll leave you with one of our own. See you in the funny papers, dickweeds.

Would You Rather...

1) Be bound and gagged with an obese dude's jock strap after a long run or a woman's shit and blood stained panties?

User Submission Contest #1

Wazzupppppp? (anybody else remember when people used to say that?...no?....nobody?)

Well anyway, today is the day you've all been waiting for. It's the day you finally get your 15 minutes of fame. We got insane amounts of emails this week. After reading through countless shitty submissions, hassle-free debt solutions, and offerings of hot singles in our area, we ended up with a few great questions (most have to do with semen). Here's the best of the user-submissions you sick fucks sent us this week:

Would you rather...

1) Fuck your grandma to death or snowball with your grandpa after you ejaculate in his mouth?
-Stefan, Marlboro NJ

2) Cum in Oprah's ass and then lick off the feces/semen mix as it drips out or get fucked raw by Mr. T?
-TJ, Carmel NY

3) Suck a dude's dick and swallow or eat a dude's shitty asshole out?
-Joe, Waterbury CT

4) Have sex with a bear trap or eat 3 mozzarella sticks?(Here's the catch: those mozzarella sticks....are fucking delicious)
-Keith, Holbrook NY

5) Have your eyeball popped out and get skull fucked or your arm torn off and your wound fucked? (Both until orgasm)
-Dylan, Irvington NY

6) Eat out Whoopi Goldberg's stinky, crusty pussy and diarrhea-tasting asshole or have your flacid dick get caught in a slamming car door?
-Dave, Marlboro NJ

7) Lick up a pile of puke (origin unknown) or have a pine cone shoved up your ass?
-Jackie, Lake Grove NY

Daily Fucked Up Question #6

Would you rather...

1) Saw off and eat, an obese man's stomach or eat six dick and sauerkraut sandwiches?

Oh and just a reminder, the deadline for user-submissions is at midnight tonight. Make sure you get them in on time!

Daily Fucked Up Question #5

Ahoy faggots,

We had such a great time raping and pillaging on "Talk Like A Pirate Day" this Saturday, that we've decided to celebrate by having a pirate themed edition of the Daily Fucked Up Question:

Would You Rather...

1) Fuck a chick raw with full-blown scurvy (symptoms include: bleeding gums, bloated face, large tumors and bad breath) or walk the plank into crocodile infested water?
2) Have two peg legs or two peg arms?
3) Get raped by a horde of horny invading pirates or get busted for every song and movie you ever pirated?

Daily Fucked Up Question #4

Well, hello there, TFU! readers...

Here's some more questions to wrap your brains around... and because we're still in our preliminary run, we're hitting you with another three fucked up scenarios. So here we go yo.

Would You Rather...

1) Suck the puss out of a burst herpes boil or lick a stripper pole clean? (with the very likely chance you'll catch herpes)
2) Have an elderly man cum in your butt or shit on your face?
3) Have both your eyeballs stung by killer bees or have a rhino ram it's horn up your ass?

Daily Fucked Up Question #3

Keep those user submissions coming in! We're going to extend the deadline to next Wednesday.

Just like yesterday, we're hooking you guys up with three questions today, instead of the usual one:

Would You Rather...

1) Shit literal bricks or shit small razors?
2) Find out the chick you just hooked up with is a tranny or is related to you by blood?
3) Melt off your nose with a hot iron or stick your hand in a blender?

As always, be sure to come back tomorrow for another edition of the Daily Fucked Up Question!