Thursday, October 8, 2009

Daily Fucked Up Question #15

Dillinger Four are IMHO, arguably the best thing to ever come out of Minneapolis, even outside of the punk rock spectrum (That's right, even better than Prince). They've influenced so many bands that have come out after them and, without sounding too cliche, will continue to do so for years. The energy and intensity they put out during their live performances is not unlike taking a cattle prod to the nuts. So we decided that we're gonna dedicating this post to them.

Their song "Noble Stabbings!" includes the following lyrics:

I am not unforgiving
But I won't take the fall
Let the ashes surround us
I am not gonna crawl through
Broken glass and razor wire
I don't care if yesterday burns
Stoke up the fire

Fire, ashes, razor wire and broken glass... nice. All these make for gruesome results so it wasn't too hard to come up with a Fucked Up question. Even for those not familiar with punk, you should check Dillinger Four out just cause we said so.

Would you rather...

1) Be strangled for a minute with razor wire (non-fatal) or crawl army-style through fifty yards of broken glass?

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Daily Fucked Up Question #14

Sorry dudes, due to some technical problems, we weren't able to post yesterday. Please still be our friends...please? =/
Really? No? That's it? We're not friends? ...well fuck you asshole!
Oh DO want to be friends? Oh shit my bad, okay we're cool then we're cool.

Uhh well anyway, we are in the midst of an eventful Wednesday folks! Not only does the new season of South Park start tonight, but its user-submission day as well! we're gonna be lazy and completely ignore user-submission day!

And to make up for the lack of a post yesterday (you're lucky to be even getting that much out of us), we'll go ahead and post a couple South Park questions first:

Would You Rather...

1) Eat your parents that were cooked into a chili or have the sound of your name be the brown noise?
2) Use the entity as your only means of transportation or a fetus permanently stuck to your head?
3) Have a gerbil burrow through your ass or fuck the post-op Garrison?

Monday, October 5, 2009

Daily Fucked Up Question #13

Happy Monday, hope all of you are enjoying being miserable at your job or school. And don't lie, we know you're all miserable otherwise you wouldn't be perusing the internet to stumble upon our humble blog... That's really the only way to go about finding anything amusing on the internet, random perusing. And we're glad that of all the blogs you landed on, you landed on ours ;)

Anyway, enough dick-sucking, here's what you came for hungry dogs, your daily TFU! question.

Would you rather...

1) Tongue the balls of Kimbo Slice after every workout for life or smuggle a pound of heroin in your ass across the U.S. border from Mexico once a week?

Friday, October 2, 2009

Daily Fucked Up Question #12

Just wanted to say thanks again, TFU! followers. Within 24 hours we received another 100 unique hits! To celebrate we're throwing another party, with FREE FOOD...except you came too late and we only have two types of...ehh... "unique" culinary items for you. Here's your choices:

Would You Rather...

1) Eat a hotdog made of real dog meat or eat a Boston cream donut where the cream is a guy from Boston's special 'cream' filling?

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Daily Fucked Up Question #11





Wednesday, September 30, 2009

User Submission Contest #2

Great job this week, you sick fucks. We received some particularly disturbing submissions this week...most involving incest. I highly suggest therapy to all you degenerates, but can't deny a job well done.

Here's the cream of the crop:

Would You Rather...

1) Curb-stomp a newborn baby or have a threesome with your sister and mom?
-Marc, Carlisle PA

2) Have a dude piss in your mouth in a public place or get caught taking a big dump in front of a group of hot chicks?
-Payam, Northvale NJ

3) Be forced to kill your brother or fuck him?
-Murph, Holtzville NY

4) Fuck your mom in the ass and shit on her face or get fucked in the ass and shit on your face by your dog?
-Dan, Farmingville NY

5) Get covered in shit and piss everyday for the rest of your life but fuck Meghan Fox once or never fuck anybody again?
-Kevin, Lake Ronkonkoma NY

Remember every Wednesday is user-submission day, so keep them coming!

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Daily Fucked Up Question #10

So how many people liked Transformers 2? All the action any Michael Bay fan could wish for, a hot piece of booty to gander at while running in slow motion and all the nostalgia of seeing your favorite childhood toys blow each other to shit, right?

Well, that movie sucked at least ten dicks.

Anyway, in honor of those ten dicks and Michael Bay's cash cow, Megan Fox, we're gonna have a "Would You Rather..." partially inspired by this heap of cinema dribble.

Would You Rather...

1) Suck ten dicks to be able to fuck Megan Fox or amputate all of your limbs for one billion dollars? (You can't buy prosthetic limbs though)

Monday, September 28, 2009

Daily Fucked Up Question #9

Mazel Tov heebs!

Hope you're having a wonderful Yom Kippur to all you Jews out there. And to the rest of us, enjoy the day off.

Would You Rather...

1) Eat a regurgitated gefilte fish and matza cocktail, spewn from Larry David or have a yarmulke made of Seth Rogen's pubes stapled to your head?

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Daily Fucked Up Question #8

Sorry for missing a post yesterday dudes. Due to a meteor impact, giant robots, and a lot of internet problems, we were not able to get online. But to make it up to you, we'll give ya two questions today instead of one...please don't hate us =(

Would You Rather...

1) After taking excessive amounts of mushrooms go to a haunted house or ride Kingda Kaa?
2) Be tied up, covered in sugar, and have fireants poured on you or have a spider lay eggs in your nose, ears, asshole, pee-hole and behind your eyes?

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Daily Fucked Up Question #7

So, thanks again to all the TFU! Blog readers for their submissions. You've all proven yourselves a sick, depraved, emotionally disturbed bunch. Like us. So get out more, see the world or something. But we have to admit, we slipped up a bit and missed some submissions. And since we're men and we own up to our own faults, we're gonna post them up right here.

Would You Rather...

1) Have your fingers smashed individually with a round side of a ball peen hammer or have ur dick hole paper cut?

2) Drink a bucket of jizz expelled from a gang of filthy HIV positive hobos or eat rancid tuna out of Patrick Swayze's freshly decaying asshole?

Pretty nice... So keep sending these baby's in, TFU! Droogs. And to take us out, we'll leave you with one of our own. See you in the funny papers, dickweeds.

Would You Rather...

1) Be bound and gagged with an obese dude's jock strap after a long run or a woman's shit and blood stained panties?